Why do men love women so flippin’ much, ey? Ask a thousand men and the answer is not likely to be ‘because my girlfriend / wife nags me all the time and I just love that after a hard days work!’ So what is the magic ingredient? Aside from the obvious–

All I know is that the world would be a terrible place to live without these fine, graceful, awe-inspiring creatures; a world populated with bad jokes, bad smells, bad hygiene and generally speaking nothing much of any good (other than you could eat as much curry as you like and completely get away with it). That said, if women didn’t exist then I’m struggling to think how men might exist to have that as a concern. But for the purpose of this article, let’s say men do and women don’t. How would us guys cope all alone on this big rock of ours?

One thing which I never would have guessed in my wildest dreams, growing up, is that women are, at least in my experience, the best half of our species to watch scary films with; I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve sat down to watch a DVD with a male mate–usually one who does macho things which don’t interest me in the slightest–only to hear him say, as if he’s not at all frightened, “Er–Can we watch something else? I’m just not in the mood for a comedy, that’s all.”

That’s got me thinking…

Also, how dull would weddings be without those glorious dresses? Those sweet smiling bridesmaids? Actually–would weddings even take place? I suppose, sad as it may be, if women didn’t exist then all men–even rugby players–would have to get married to each other (even if they didn’t like men, what other choice would there be?): oh dear oh dear. Truly an awful prospect: I’d give my right arm not to see another man all done up in a big white wedding dress any day…

Just found this online competition where the prize is a couples trip ski chalet holidays. You guys must put your names in, I am decidedly going to win this!